This morning we had one of those toddler melt-Down. She was sitting on my lap at the computer looking at a picture of a baby flash on the screen. I needed to get up; wanted to watch that kid some more. She had already decided what she wanted (see pictures) and how he wanted to (on my lap) and literally there was nothing I could do to change his mind. We have fused.
The truth is that these things happen when you have a baby around. Are working hard to become independent people; but they don't have the life experience and skills to do what they want to do. What a frustrating time for them--and for us! The good news is that there are some simple ways to minimize confusion and maximize the fun as your child works to develop those skills you need to be a successful human being.
One of the most important things to keep in mind is this: every whim has a real reason behind it and it's up to us as parents to watch cause behind the melt-down and find the root. Is usually one of the following: hunger, fatigue, frustration or fear. When your child melts, it is up to you to deal with the root cause, not necessarily the behavior itself. Telling a kid yelling "stop it or you'll be in trouble" does absolutely nothing to mitigate the real cause of whim. If nothing else, that kind of attitude just adds to the frustration of your child.
Here are some ways to prevent tantrums and some ideas on how to tame a tantrum that occur:
or keep to your schedule. Be on a regular schedule helps a child to feel safe. The security of having gives space to make new initiatives in his own little world. Also, being on a regular schedule means that you limit the number of melt-down that occur as a result of hunger and exhaustion. Here's a calendar baby might look like: Wake up. Change the diaper. Eat breakfast. Have time to play with the care-giver. Have a snack. Their hair (if on a schedule of two-nap) or more timing game (if on a schedule of one-nap). Change the diaper. Lunch. Their time with care-giver. They nap. Change the diaper. Have time to play with the care-giver. Have a snack. Have time to play with the care-giver. Change the diaper. Have dinner. Have time to play with your family. Change the diaper. Go to bed. And for you parents who stay at home are wondering how to get your chores done ... Toddlers love to help around the House! "Play time" might be sorting laundry, shopping, washing Windows, gardening, sweeping, doing the dishes and kitchen! Until it includes power tools, include your baby in your day. Also, keep nap-sacred times (gasp!) Time to ME. Read, NAP, meditate, write, paint, garden-use this time every day to nourish your soul. This will keep adult-tantrum minimizing.
or be sensitive about transitions. Many tantrums happen because the baby is getting ready to pass the tasks: he simply planned to stop what you're doing and go to the next thing. Imagine being in her world: one minute you are happily stacking blocks then someone walks and drag to the car to go shopping without warning. How rude! Keep your schedule means that your child will be ready to make the transitions from one activity to the next. But sometimes things happen and we have to be more flexible. Give the child a phrase that you use during the day when it's almost time to move on to something else. For our family, we give a five-minute warning. "Faith, in five minutes that it will take time to NAP." Is another sentence that works well for some families, "we almost ended up with _ and then we'll do _". I noticed that first-borns especially like to be informed about what's going to happen. Gives an alert helps your child to finish a job so she can move to the next age gracefully.
or "I" do it! " Nothing Angers more than when his care-givers don't let him do things for himself a child. Create opportunities for him to have the independence that he so desperately needs.
Make sure he has clothes that is simple to make. Minimize buttons, snaps and over-alls. Make sure that shoes that he can slip onto itself.
He get a toolset of housecleaning, child of average size. If he has the tools, he will use them!
Make sure that the stool to sinks so he can wash their hands and help with the dishes.
When he tries to tasks that go beyond his ability and strength, to help it with tact. "How about if I just this part of the window and held that part and we'll bring it together?"
Sometimes, it's good to let him try and fail. As he will know what you can do if not allowed to try the limits of its potential?
or keep your sense of humor and an open mind! A night at the tooth-brushing time, my daughter decided that she wasn't just going to brush your teeth. We tried everything: we put on his favorite toothpaste (child's toothpaste-fluoride-free), let she starts by itself, we tried forcing it to let us help, we tried to joke with her and Tickle her to convince her to open her mouth, we tried singing with our wide open mouth so we could trick you into opening. Nothing worked. He went from giggling at the stubborn frustrated back to stubborn. Finally I remembered watching you trying to spit in the sink after she had seen her dad spit. I said, "Faith, you must spit?" Immediately, he got back in the game. She spat then let me brush some more so she could spit again. We have maintained this cycle to brushing and spit until his teeth were cleaned. Enrolling cooperation is much more effective than forcing the will on your child. I became the master of marketing-my kids any way. I learned how to manipulate their prejudices and preferences to get to do what I want them to try new foods, like taking showers and even brushing your teeth. You know kids inside and out. Use that knowledge and creativity to help tame a tantrum.
or remember the four things to watch then merge your child. He is hungry? Tired? Frustrated? Are you afraid? Your child is too young to control his emotions and he's just learning how to behave in situations. His behavior is a reaction to some internal event. Dig down and deal with the internal proceedings. Make them feel understood and loved how to help him learn appropriate ways to manage his emotions.
Remember to keep cool in the heat of the moment. There's no point in getting angry or embarrassed. Simply address the root cause of whim so loving, quiet. She's not behaving badly; She's just reacting in a totally appropriate child to something that is very real to her. Her love, her guide and watch her bloom!
The truth is that these things happen when you have a baby around. Are working hard to become independent people; but they don't have the life experience and skills to do what they want to do. What a frustrating time for them--and for us! The good news is that there are some simple ways to minimize confusion and maximize the fun as your child works to develop those skills you need to be a successful human being.
One of the most important things to keep in mind is this: every whim has a real reason behind it and it's up to us as parents to watch cause behind the melt-down and find the root. Is usually one of the following: hunger, fatigue, frustration or fear. When your child melts, it is up to you to deal with the root cause, not necessarily the behavior itself. Telling a kid yelling "stop it or you'll be in trouble" does absolutely nothing to mitigate the real cause of whim. If nothing else, that kind of attitude just adds to the frustration of your child.
Here are some ways to prevent tantrums and some ideas on how to tame a tantrum that occur:
or keep to your schedule. Be on a regular schedule helps a child to feel safe. The security of having gives space to make new initiatives in his own little world. Also, being on a regular schedule means that you limit the number of melt-down that occur as a result of hunger and exhaustion. Here's a calendar baby might look like: Wake up. Change the diaper. Eat breakfast. Have time to play with the care-giver. Have a snack. Their hair (if on a schedule of two-nap) or more timing game (if on a schedule of one-nap). Change the diaper. Lunch. Their time with care-giver. They nap. Change the diaper. Have time to play with the care-giver. Have a snack. Have time to play with the care-giver. Change the diaper. Have dinner. Have time to play with your family. Change the diaper. Go to bed. And for you parents who stay at home are wondering how to get your chores done ... Toddlers love to help around the House! "Play time" might be sorting laundry, shopping, washing Windows, gardening, sweeping, doing the dishes and kitchen! Until it includes power tools, include your baby in your day. Also, keep nap-sacred times (gasp!) Time to ME. Read, NAP, meditate, write, paint, garden-use this time every day to nourish your soul. This will keep adult-tantrum minimizing.
or be sensitive about transitions. Many tantrums happen because the baby is getting ready to pass the tasks: he simply planned to stop what you're doing and go to the next thing. Imagine being in her world: one minute you are happily stacking blocks then someone walks and drag to the car to go shopping without warning. How rude! Keep your schedule means that your child will be ready to make the transitions from one activity to the next. But sometimes things happen and we have to be more flexible. Give the child a phrase that you use during the day when it's almost time to move on to something else. For our family, we give a five-minute warning. "Faith, in five minutes that it will take time to NAP." Is another sentence that works well for some families, "we almost ended up with _ and then we'll do _". I noticed that first-borns especially like to be informed about what's going to happen. Gives an alert helps your child to finish a job so she can move to the next age gracefully.
or "I" do it! " Nothing Angers more than when his care-givers don't let him do things for himself a child. Create opportunities for him to have the independence that he so desperately needs.
Make sure he has clothes that is simple to make. Minimize buttons, snaps and over-alls. Make sure that shoes that he can slip onto itself.
He get a toolset of housecleaning, child of average size. If he has the tools, he will use them!
Make sure that the stool to sinks so he can wash their hands and help with the dishes.
When he tries to tasks that go beyond his ability and strength, to help it with tact. "How about if I just this part of the window and held that part and we'll bring it together?"
Sometimes, it's good to let him try and fail. As he will know what you can do if not allowed to try the limits of its potential?
or keep your sense of humor and an open mind! A night at the tooth-brushing time, my daughter decided that she wasn't just going to brush your teeth. We tried everything: we put on his favorite toothpaste (child's toothpaste-fluoride-free), let she starts by itself, we tried forcing it to let us help, we tried to joke with her and Tickle her to convince her to open her mouth, we tried singing with our wide open mouth so we could trick you into opening. Nothing worked. He went from giggling at the stubborn frustrated back to stubborn. Finally I remembered watching you trying to spit in the sink after she had seen her dad spit. I said, "Faith, you must spit?" Immediately, he got back in the game. She spat then let me brush some more so she could spit again. We have maintained this cycle to brushing and spit until his teeth were cleaned. Enrolling cooperation is much more effective than forcing the will on your child. I became the master of marketing-my kids any way. I learned how to manipulate their prejudices and preferences to get to do what I want them to try new foods, like taking showers and even brushing your teeth. You know kids inside and out. Use that knowledge and creativity to help tame a tantrum.
or remember the four things to watch then merge your child. He is hungry? Tired? Frustrated? Are you afraid? Your child is too young to control his emotions and he's just learning how to behave in situations. His behavior is a reaction to some internal event. Dig down and deal with the internal proceedings. Make them feel understood and loved how to help him learn appropriate ways to manage his emotions.
Remember to keep cool in the heat of the moment. There's no point in getting angry or embarrassed. Simply address the root cause of whim so loving, quiet. She's not behaving badly; She's just reacting in a totally appropriate child to something that is very real to her. Her love, her guide and watch her bloom!